ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
I ... I am in a state. Dudel (sometimes with a Rok) is an entity I have created in order to help handle certain aspects of self that would be otherwise difficult to, well, handle. By itself, this was fine. The problem, though, is that "Dudel" is largely an online concept without a real face, yet it's the version of self most easily identified with ... and I am now actually "out in the real world" taking this creation of "me" into it as a way to better deal with things than previously able.
...the bottom line of things is my "online self" and my more "real self" are quickly becoming a more single realized thing, and this is causing me to make some choices on how and what I wanna do. I suppose I shouldn't change my behavior because I suddenly have to actually slap people for being stupid, but there comes a point where questions arise and they are questions I do not want to deal with.
I realize I'm not making much sense, and the fact I'm dancing around something clearly undisclosed brings my motives into question, but there are just certain aspects or things certain people are unaware of, and I prefer it this way. ...but that might not be possible if I want to accumulate all of "Me" into a whole piece, which I really need to do in order to keep my bloody brain stable, so I'm stuck wondering if it's "Go for broke" time or if it's time to pull away ... but I don't want to pull away, and I hate myself for doing that the first time, so my choice becomes obvious, except the way to do this is very difficult and requires a string of awkward transitions.
So... yeah.
I'm so paranoid.
So very paranoid.
...the bottom line of things is my "online self" and my more "real self" are quickly becoming a more single realized thing, and this is causing me to make some choices on how and what I wanna do. I suppose I shouldn't change my behavior because I suddenly have to actually slap people for being stupid, but there comes a point where questions arise and they are questions I do not want to deal with.
I realize I'm not making much sense, and the fact I'm dancing around something clearly undisclosed brings my motives into question, but there are just certain aspects or things certain people are unaware of, and I prefer it this way. ...but that might not be possible if I want to accumulate all of "Me" into a whole piece, which I really need to do in order to keep my bloody brain stable, so I'm stuck wondering if it's "Go for broke" time or if it's time to pull away ... but I don't want to pull away, and I hate myself for doing that the first time, so my choice becomes obvious, except the way to do this is very difficult and requires a string of awkward transitions.
So... yeah.
I'm so paranoid.
So very paranoid.
So I still have a dA and stuff...
The internet has not really been high on my priority list of things to deal with, especially with not wanting to be home on a general level, but you all know how that is. Put a lot of emphasis online and then accidentally a social life and things get pushed aside.
Currently one school year down (sans a summer term I'm debating I even want to deal with right now), and in charge of a club on campus ... accidentally. I do a lot of things on accident, like get to know people and hang out places. I don't know. Certain aspects are still difficult to deal with, but a lot of others are becoming easier to not only have but express. Not looking forwar
How to Deal With 'Hackers'
First thing I want to get out of the way is: Phishing isn't hacking. Phishing is a lack of internet safety by the person who's been targeted. Some simple ways to avoid phishing scams are installing NoScript to identify scripts running and learn to identify malicious or suspicious URLs.
All dA URLs look like this dudelrok.deviantart.com, and most competent browsers will show you the exact link you are going to in either the bottom left or bottom right of the browser window. If you hover over the above link, it should show a redirect from deviantArt to "example.com." Speaking of redirects: dA directly warns you NOT to follow links you don't kn
Semester 1 Down
Kind of an "Oh yeah" moment, but I finished that first semester of supposed "upper education." Grades were posted today, so I figured I'd share my thoughts. Firstly: If Summer with 4 classes is supposed to be some huge big deal and fast paced, I am DREADING the slow, tedious, hell that will be fall. Can you believe that the supposed "mini-mesters" were not fast enough for me? Cramming an entire class into 6 Weeks was, for me, too slow. :XD:
I'd like to now take a moment and send a few shout outs to my classmates and teachers.
Random-chick-who-was-in-both-my-Bio-and-Math-class: "No, I'm not paying attention to you, no I don't care what you a
Com 1 Complete...
...I think.
Honestly? I am not sure. I believe I did well enough to pass, but it might be by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin. By the way the class was set up, one bad grade could really eat you up. I really should not have tried and contest with the professor, as he was quick to call me on my shit. Good fun, though. Good fun. It isn't often that someone has such strong moral/ethical lines that they plop my ass down with a bad grade; in fact, I earned my first legit bad grade from my Com 1 professor. ("Legit" meaning I did not receive a 0 for non-complete, but got a honest "Bad job, try again.") I still remember the shock I felt at seeing tha
© 2012 - 2024 DudelRok
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In